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July 27th, 2006
01:34 pm - Most Likely My Last Entry
Let me first start off by saying I'm sorry to those of you who got hurt by the fact that I didn't show, or only stayed for a short while, at your graduation parties. If I had known going to graduation parties constituted being a TRUE friend, I damn well would have made sure to make it to every single one of the grad parties I was invited to go to from my FP AND FM friends, because you guys really are close to me. And I really am sorry if I hurt any of you. I wasn't completely ditching you guys for a boyfriend. Shit comes up sometimes, and not having a car all the time and having to depend on my parents does get in the way. And I really didn't feel up to socializing, but I'm sure NONE of you guys have ever felt that way before *sarcasm*. I hope I didn't sever too many friendships, although I can't really say I lost a friendship in the first place, for talking shit about her behind HER back. But unlike some people, if I can't take what I dish out when it comes to talking shit, I usually try not to say anything... instead of hang up when the person confronts me. But that's just me. "Maybe my values are different". I do miss you all, and I know we all have busy schedules with getting ready to leave for college and working and other extra-curricular activities and whatnot, but I really hope to see all of you at LEAST 3 times before this next month dies away.
Yours Sincerely.
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June 12th, 2006
07:47 pm
Your Inner European is Russian!
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Mysterious and exotic.
You've got a great balance of danger and allure.
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April 2nd, 2006
08:58 pm - i guess it couldn't hurt to update once in a while
went to NYC this weekend with the high school band for a competition. we came in 2nd place by 1.7 points from the first band. which really blows. after that we went to see phantom of the opera on broadway. absolutely amazing. the voices were different from the movie, too much vibrato for my taste, so it could have been better, but it was rivetting. the next day we went on a tour and saw some pretty cool things, including ground zero. touching, really. moving on. and then we went shopping for a few hours. bought a sweatshirt that says New York on it, and a black purse from a street vendor. stole 2 tiny keychains that i wasn't going to pay 3.00 for. stole 2 watches from another street vendor, and gave one to a friend 'cause it was too big. really nice watches too. we stayed at the hilton, so while i'm on my theft streak, i'll say i stole one of their feathered pillows too. then after shopping, we went to the medival times, which was really cool. live show with horses and plot and fighting (staged, but still really awesome). they don't give you silverware, so you have to eat with your hands, which i thought was fun. and then played an april fools prank on the band teacher from the seniors. we got a twin sized sheet while we were shopping and had all the seniors sign it saying "april fools from seniors of 2006, haha" and we taped it over his door so when he opened his door, he'd walk into it/see it. he liked it. we had breakfast every morning provided by the hotel, so i'm kinda sad to give all that up. i'd be a lot more enthusiastic right now if i wasn't so tired. i like, didn't sleep all weekend. it was wicked fun though. that's all folks.
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March 6th, 2006
March 3rd, 2006
03:24 pm
Off to Fredonia for my audition.
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February 28th, 2006
04:22 pm - i'm too hard on myself
i'm not pretty nor
am i attractive.
no one wants me.
i dont play flute well
i doubt i'll do well at my audition.
so i keep playing
and crying as i keep playing
because the more i cry, the worse my sound gets
the more i cry.
i'm trying too hard.
i hate myself.
wow, nothing has changed since 9th grade.
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February 23rd, 2006
07:50 pm
guess who got their license today...
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February 19th, 2006
03:37 pm - yea, i never update
this is a list of the recents:
-got grounded for a bit because of my report card, but that's passed
-had a boyfriend, not anymore. we decided that we're those type of friends who are really good friends, find the other attractive, but wouldn't really be able to go anywhere in a relationship. we're still friends
-looking for a job, finally. i might go to khols, i hear they start at a good pay
-got a FOB hat!
-CKY rocks, fuck you if you don't think so ("96 Quite Bitter Beings" is a must listen to)
-nothing more to report.
<3 love
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February 6th, 2006
07:28 pm
You are a Ninja.
You are like a samurai gone bad. The good side
is no longer interesting you and feel that
darkness is where you belong. Though you may
think you are the evil one, you're not.
Because deep inside there is still that
little glimpse of who you once were. You
don't like to associate with people that much
and keep away. In your mind they are ignorant
and not so interesting anyway. That means you
are a lonley person who don't trust people,
and you have really no desire to do so
either. Life is a big pain and annoyance for
you and you aren't quite sure on how to
handle it. Other people see you as mysterious
and secretive, and that is probably right.
Main weapon: Daggers and throwing
stars
Quote: "I hate people. People make
me pro-nuclear" -Margaret Smith
Facial expression: Frown
What Type of Killer Are You? [cool pictures]
brought to you by Quizilla
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January 18th, 2006
December 24th, 2005
December 20th, 2005
06:19 pm - I'm Getting There
You Belong in New York City
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You're an energetic, ambitious woman.
And only NYC is fast enough for you.
Maybe you'll set yourself up with a killer career
Or simply take in all the city has to offer.
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December 16th, 2005
02:51 pm
Take the quiz:
what kind of drug are you? (includes pictures)
pure MDMA powder.
you are pure MDMA powder. you are daring, wild, out-going and funny.
Quizzes by myYearbook.com -- the World's Biggest Yearbook!
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December 11th, 2005
01:10 pm
( Ravage Me )
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December 7th, 2005
08:14 pm - Do You Have One Who Speaks Of You This Way?
I met her online, as I do so many people who speak passionately. She wrote stories, she had pictures, she had poetry to my liking. She was everything I desired in anyone, anything. We had a courtship of worlds -- hers leading to destruction and monstrous acts, mine of life and of innocence. I would tell few of her, of my passion and interest for her, almost in obsession. She would visit me often in my garden of dreams, bringing her life in death to such a place. It was beautiful. She was beautiful. And then, suddenly, I had made plans to meet her in person. I would have had to wait a while, but she was worth the wait. Waiting an eternity could not have squandered my love for her. My desire. My admiration. My envy. She warned me many times, as you have; however, I see nothing of dire danger. Perhaps I am in denial for the fact that I could be ripped to pieces as a mere meal, used in such a way when she envied me as well. She longed to hear of life, of love... Of the lover I was entwined with at the time. And speaking of this lover... I told him, after quite some time with my exchanging of words with this demoness, of the love letter I received from her. Oh, what a love letter. I wish I had saved it away before she resented my lies of not wanting her so suddenly. When he found out and read the fiery words, he was devastated and asked me not to speak to her again. Thus, my entrance with a hateful letter in return to the one of feelings. She cut me off, no longer able to enjoy, even from a distance, her beauty. Once in a while she would allow me a moment or two in her world... Taunting me. Though of course I doubt she knew what I was inflicting upon myself all that time. I watched her disappear more than once, and found her again. I miss her terribly, and have recently reconnected with her, since I am no longer with the previously mentioned lover. I would do anything to converse with her once more. I would do anything to get that love letter back, for I am sure she still has it. She acts like I was nothing to her, yet let slip the fact that speaking to her again and asking so much of her as to give me the love letter had opened scarred wounds and poured salt upon them. My sorrow and apologies could not amount to what I really wish to tell her, that I still feel for her. That I want her, lustfully. My butterfly.
A broken and forgotten doll, once played with so enthusiastically,
MC
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December 3rd, 2005
10:23 pm
She sleeps alone again and tries her best not to pretend that all she used to live for was a love she
couldn't bear. Everytime she needs to do the things that she believes will fill the void inside of her 'cause
he was never there.
She said, "I swear I'm not the devil, who do you think I am? I swear I'm not the devil."
And she said, "I swear I'm not the devil, who do you think I am? I swear I'm not the devil."
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November 28th, 2005
08:08 pm
"In another moment down went Alice after it, never once considering how in the world she was to get out again."
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November 25th, 2005
09:20 pm - Like an Addiction
( Just to see if you'd have me again... )
They're kind of repetitive... seeing how I haven't had too much time to be in different environments since the change.
Hope you like.
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November 22nd, 2005
01:24 pm - A New Me
I've made a hair appointment for tomorrow @ 3:00pm. I'm nervous, but I'm pretty sure my hair will turn out looking okay.
-weak smile- Get ready 'cause here I come.
Pictures tomorrow, because I won't have anything better to do.
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